Down the Rabbit Hole: How Alice in Wonderland Mirrors My Healing Journey

Some days, living with chronic illness and lifelong trauma feels like falling straight down the rabbit hole. One minute you think you know the rules of your life, the next you are in a world where nothing makes sense, where the ground keeps shifting under your feet, and you are just trying to keep your balance.

That is why Alice in Wonderland has always struck a chord with me. The more I look at it, the more I see my own story reflected in Alice’s strange adventure.

The Rabbit Hole of Illness and Trauma

Alice did not plan on tumbling into another world. It just happened. That is exactly how my health journey has felt. Fibromyalgia, autoimmune conditions, POTS, pain, and trauma did not come with a guidebook. One day I was living a full life, the next I was navigating a bizarre and unpredictable landscape where none of the old rules applied.

Shrinking, Growing, and Losing Myself

Alice keeps changing size. Sometimes she is too small to be noticed, other times she is too large for the room she is in. Illness has done the same to me.

My world has shrunk. My activities, independence, and energy are limited. Yet at the same time, parts of me have expanded. My creativity, intuition, and resilience have grown too big to fit inside the box my old life once held me in.

The Mad Tea Party of the Medical System

If you have ever been trapped at a tea party where time is stuck, conversations go in circles, and nothing ever moves forward, you will understand what the medical system has felt like for me. Endless appointments, repeated tests, round and round with no answers. The chaos of it could drive anyone mad.

Facing the Queen of Hearts

The Queen of Hearts screams, “Off with their heads!” at the slightest offense. I have met that energy in toxic relationships, in dismissive doctors, and in broken systems that punish instead of heal. Like Alice, I have had to find my voice, learn when to stand my ground, and when to walk away from the madness.

The Cheshire Cat and Glimpses of Guidance

The Cheshire Cat never gives Alice the whole map. He only leaves a smile, a clue, a direction. That is how spiritual guidance often feels for me. Feathers on my path, animal symbols, astrological insights, small signs that whisper, You are on the right track. I have learned to trust those glimpses, even when the road is not fully lit.

Waking Up Different

In the end, Alice wakes up changed. She is not the same girl who fell down the rabbit hole. And that is the connection that makes my heart swell, because I know that is my path too.

Illness and trauma have stripped me of old identities, but they have also given me the chance to build something new. I am not the woman I once was. I am becoming someone stronger, more authentic, and more alive.

My Wonderland is not just chaos. It is transformation.

And if you have found yourself in your own Wonderland, lost and disoriented, take heart. The story is not about staying lost. It is about finding who you truly are when the old rules no longer apply.